October 2006

 Window Seat  

 John Wesley Harding

  I was brought on by my mother as her carry-on
  She had me in the toilet when the seat-belt sign was on
  I crawled up to the captain down the other end
  I hid under the seats, that’s where I played pretend
  And I ate the wild pretzel and the nuts that fell
  And the screech of brakes was all I knew for my school bell

And I know I’ve got the whole world at my feet
In my window seat

I learned to eat the sweet, I learned to swallow hard
I learned to ease the pressure with free playing cards
Spent my teenage setting off all the smoke alarms
Then running down the alley saying “please stay calm”
Met the girl in 7B, we tried to settle down
But we couldn’t reach the aisle before we hit the ground

And I know I’ve got the whole world at my feet
In my window seat

And now the sisters of the sky think I’m deaf and dumb
As I wait around for upgrades that will never come
But I know that we will one day sit on his right hand
Be his automatic pilot when this plane must land

And the stewardess of Babylon will spread her arms
And show us all a thing or two about her charms
We’ll be tempted by the devil with the magic wand
He’ll make us stand with arms outstretched then wave us on
Into the great beyond (our boarding passes gone)

And I know I’ve got the whole world at my feet
In my window seat

John Wesley Harding


1. He uses words like “ginchy”.

2. His nightstand is made out of comic book storage boxes.

3. He figures out the ending to the movie early on, but only tells me if I want to know.

4. He’s a good son to his parents.

5. He can write code. That’s like speaking a foreign language to a very literal-minded and obedient listener. That might come in handy someday.

6. He has a terrible sense of direction. Cannot tell north from south on a map. And he’s lived in this city all his life and still doesn’t know the major streets.

7. [censored]

8. When he’s just out of the shower and his hair is all mussy, he looks like Dilbert.

9. He maintains he was born wearing his glasses. I find this a very funny image.

10. He dances with me even though he feels self-conscious.

11. He wears boxer briefs, even though likes regular briefs better, because I like them on him.

12. When I’m cold, he offers me his jacket.

13. He bought a stuffed Elvis Cthulu for a friend’s baby, unprompted.

14. He’s nice to my cat, even though he’s allergic and doesn’t much like cats.

15. He has the nuttiest imagination of anyone I know. He makes me laugh, and laugh, and laugh.


Rocky Point